PARSHAT EMOR                                                                         Alan Fromm

אמר begins with the laws which apply only to כהנים. The כהןand his children merited to be the agents of the Jewish nation in the sacred service performed in the Temple. As a result of this exalted status, being servants of the King in His palace, there are many extra rules which they, the כהנים, are required to follow and adhere to.

The parsha starts with the pasuk

׃ ויאמר ה׳  אל־משה אמר אל־הכהנים בני אהרן ואמרת אלהם לנפש לא־יטמא בעמיו

“And Hashem said to Moshe, say to the כהנים, the sons of אהרן, and say to them: do not defile yourselves by coming in contact with a corpse.”

There are two expressions that are used throughout Tanach for speaking: וידבר - usually defined as `speak' - and ויאמר - usually defined as `say'. Throughout the Torah, the term וידבר is usually used. Throughout the Prophets, the term ויאמר  is used.

If so, why, in the Torah, does Hashem command Moshe regarding the special laws of the כהנים, using the `softer' term אמר? And why is this expression being used twice: say to the כהנים, the sons of Aharon, and say to them?

Rav Moshe Feinstein, zecher livrocho, explains it this way: The כהנים were designated to be the spiritual leaders of our nation. They, being sanctified through the additional laws of purity that they were commanded to follow, were to lead us by example. The כהנים themselves have the difficult responsibility of accepting upon themselves all of these added obligations and prohibitions. The Torah, therefore, uses the `soft' term of אמר when introducing these laws to the כהנים. The כהנים have to realize that in order to effectively teach and serve as an example to the nation, these laws can't be a burden to them. They must be `soft', light, a pleasure to carry. They must accept it with happiness and pride. Otherwise, they are not worthy to serve as כהנים.

Rav Moshe explains that the same idea applies to those who are involved in chinuch -- Jewish education. There are often many difficulties involved, whether these are difficult students, difficult material to teach, difficulties with parents, or financial hardships. Nevertheless, all of these must be accepted with happiness and a sense of overriding pride in the important work that is being accomplished. If it is a burden, then the teacher, and certainly the students, would be better off if a different occupation would be chosen.

Rashi explains that the repetition of the term אמר teaches that the adults are being warned to educate the youth. Rav Moshe explains that the same understanding of אמר applies in this situation. Children don't necessarily listen to what they are told to do - they are best at following examples. If they see that the parents love what they are doing, then they will follow suit.

If the children hear that the parents overcame very difficult tests in observing mitzvos, they won't necessarily observe the mitzvot. However, when they see that observing the mitzvot isn’t difficult at all, that they are actually pleasures that the parents wouldn't dream of missing, that will surely educate the children toward mitzva observance.

The Torah places an unmistakable responsibility on the shoulders of parents and educators to ensure that children are given a proper and adequate Jewish education.

It is important to note, however, that Torah education, especially in regards to children, does not stop at giving a child a working knowledge of the mitzvot and halachot he has to follow.

Chinuch in midot tovot – good character traits – is just as important, and maybe even more important. As Chazal, our Sages, put it: Derech eretz kadmah le-Torah – you have to have good character before you can have the Torah.

It is an often forgotten fact that the primary responsibility of education is not on the school or yeshiva, but rather on the parents. In today’s world, providing children with an adequate Torah education on one's own is an overwhelming, if not impractical task. So, each morning parents dress their children and send them off to their schools and yeshivos, where they are educated in their parents’ absence.

Chinuch, however, does not stop when the doors to the school close. Actually, that's when chinuch really begins. Education does not mean simply teaching a child the concepts and framework of a Torah life; that is what we are already getting in school. When a child walks through the door of his home, that’s when the real test begins: do his or her lessons in Torah and derech eretz carry through to their behavior outside of school?

There is an important lesson to all of us in these words. If parents wish their children to identify with Jewish ideals, they must be taught by example to follow these ideals.

Take this amusing, yet sad, story: A teacher called a parent to inform him that his son in the first grade kept stealing things. The father was shocked and asked the teacher what sort of things his son was taking. The teacher explained that he kept taking other children's pencils. At this point the father was totally confused. "Of all things, why would he take pencils?” he asked. “We have plenty of pencils in the house! I bring home pencils from the office every day!"

The example that the parents set, and the sincerity of the parents have an incredibly deep effect on a child.

There is an important lesson to us all in Emor. If parents wish their children to identify with Jewish ideals, they must be taught by example to follow those ideals. Jewish ideals must occupy a significant place in children's world view. In many places in North America, there are old Jewish communities which have all but died out. The ones which are still intact are the ones which established Jewish schools for their children to attend. The congregations, burial societies, and Jewish nationalistic and political organizations were not able to instill in Jewish youth the desire to maintain the level of observance or Jewish identity that so many Jews brought with them as immigrants to North America. Jewish education in a significant measure, with parents setting the example, is the only tried and true method of raising children who make Jewish identity a priority in their lives.

There is a saying: "if there are no kids, where will the old goats come from?"

The burden is upon us.